The Connection: Part II

by Alyssa Hasson, MAMFT

In the last post, we talked about how attachment is created by experience. While it is critically important to understand the cycle through which healthy attachment is built, it is equally important to understand what happens when the attachment cycle fails.

Recall that the attachment cycle requires two parties: 1) the child and 2) a consistently available, appropriately responding caregiver. When such a caregiver is not present, the child is alone to handle his need and return his body to an unstressed state. This is very difficult for children since their brains are not developed enough to accomplish these tasks. In order to address these needs, the child’s brain makes a shift from growing and developing to focusing on survival. In The Connected Child, the authors (Purvis, Cross, & Sunshine) note:

If a child feels threatened, hungry, or tired, her primitive brain jumps in and takes over. Physically located in areas of the brain such as the amygdala, this primitive brain constantly monitors basic survival needs and behaves like a guard on patrol. When the primitive brain is on duty, more advanced areas of the brain- particularly those that handle higher learning, reasoning, and logic, get shut down (p. 50).

Children whose circumstances dictate that their primitive brains are frequently engaged may have cognitive, emotional, and social delays as a result of their higher level brain functions shutting down to focus on survival.

Additionally, it is important to think about the learning that is taking place in the brain of a child whose primitive brain is often engaged. Daniel Siegel, author of Parenting from the Inside Out, writes:

Science has shown that the brain, even in young infants, is quite capable of making generalizations, or mental models, from repeated experiences. … Mental models serve as a kind of funnel through which information is filtered, as lenses that help us anticipate the future and therefore prepare our minds for action. (p. 51-52, emphasis mine).

How do these lenses affect your interactions with your adoptive child? Situations that resemble the previous trauma in any way can quickly cause a shift into a protective, primitive state. Behaviors during these times may appear willfully disobedient, hyperactive, or belligerent, and are oftentimes misunderstood as such, when in fact the child is simply protecting himself like he’s used to doing.

More next time on behaviors often associated with attachment issues.