Parenting Your ADHD Child

by Emily Suggs, LPC

Your role as the parent to a child with ADHD

1. Advocate: Every child needs an advocate! A child’s best advocates are the people who know him best, his  parents.  If your child had a physical disability, I imagine you would do everything possible to let teachers, school counselor, and other school personnel know your child’s specific needs and desired accommodations. When it comes to ADHD, there are needs and accommodations that need to be considered. As your child’s advocate, it is important to understand the rights and laws that are in place to help your child. Since ADHD is a spectrum disorder where the symptoms range from mild to severe, parents have to communicate the specific needs of their child to the school, and many times parents have to fight in order to get the accommodations their child needs. For more information about the rights for children with ADHD, go to www.help4adhd.org. This website represents the National Resource Center on ADHD and provides educational resources to ensure your child gets the educational help needed.
2. Coach: Rather than viewing your role as a punitive disciplinarian, think of yourself as your child’s coach. A coach’s role is to equip and encourage. During practice a coach spends his energy equipping or teaching the player strategies, skills, and techniques so that when game day approaches, the players know how to play the game. Then during the game the coach’s role shifts to that of an encourager or a motivator. The coach cannot play the game for his players. His role is to remind them of what they have learned and to encourage them to do their best. At home you are equipping your child with ADHD with the skills and strategies to succeed when he is at school. You cannot go to school for your child, but you can encourage him to remember what you have equipped him with and encourage him to do his best.
3. Empower: If you are a nurturer, then empowering your child may take practice. Nurturing personalities tend to attempt to “help” or “fix” problems when they arise for their children. For a child with ADHD, unfortunately you cannot “fix” the struggles he will face. You can advocate and coach but many of the challenges are lifelong obstacles that individuals with ADHD have to learn to address. By empowering your child, you are communicating that you BELIEVE in them. Empowerment places the responsibility and power back on the child to solve the problem while also recognizing the child’s ability to learn and grow. Statements such as, “You did it! You worked hard to clean your room all by yourself.” Or “I noticed you stayed on green today. That took a lot of hard work and self-control. I bet you are proud of yourself.” When you empower, it focuses on what the child accomplished and what the child is feeling.  Children with ADHD have reported to me feeling different and not accepted by the outside world. They struggle with meeting the expectations of others. When empowered, they learn to look within for strength and acceptance.

Parenting is a difficult task whether you are parenting a child with ADHD or not.  Every child is created differently and what works for one child may not work for another. As a parent, it is your responsibility to think outside the box of tradition to search for what is best for your child to succeed and prosper spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.