Bond-Building During the Holidays, Part 3

by Emily Rankin, MAMFT

When you're schedule is filled to the brim

Nothing jams up a schedule quite like the holiday season.  If this sounds like your life these days, take some time to sit down with your loved ones and pick and choose the collective favorites.  You don't have to do everything you used to do.  Just choose the ones that everyone (or the majority) agrees on and pencil those into your schedules.  You might even combine a few by doing them at the same time.  You could have one family member shopping for gifts online, another decorating the tree, and another addressing and stamping the endless Christmas card mailers - all while your favorite music or movie is playing in the background.  "What if," you ask, "Santa's little 'helpers' are a little on the little side?" That's a great question.  Take a deep breath and brace yourself for the answer: Don't be afraid to abandon the way you think things should happen.  The ornaments don't have to be perfectly placed.  The stamps don't have to be right-side up.  They'll mail just the same.  Or, if you need to have those things on the fast-track, you can have your little one "read" a book aloud to you while you're working or ya'll can talk about your favorite holiday traditions together.  You can play games like "Holiday Hi's and Low's" or "I Wish the Elf on the Shelf Hadn't Seen Me ______________" while you're working. (See below for game rules).  You might be surprised at some of your answers.  If your "little" one is VERY little, strap him or her to you and keep on going.  They'll be content because you're holding them (and bonding with your baby is facilitated) - and your hands will be free.  (Google: "baby slings" to find out how to fashion one on your own or how to purchase a pre-made version). 

Holiday Hi's and Low's:

Ask your child about their best moment (thus far) of the holiday season has been and their worst moment (thus far) has been.  If it's possible, repeat the "hi's," with your children and avoid the "low's."  It's also a great way to learn more about your child and their personal preferences.  You might be surprised by some of their answers.  :-)

I Wish the Elf on the Shelf Hadn't Seen Me____________:

Ask your child to fill in the blank.  It will not only provide some (more than likely) much needed humor to your day, but will also give your child the opportunity to show remorse for mistakes or slip-ups they may have made.  Parents can play too! Model for them your ability to own your mistakes.  Maybe you got way too upset when that car stole your parking place (and your Christmas spirit).  Or maybe you lost your temper when your child threw the fit in the store and you acted in a way that you shouldn't have.  It's just as important (if not moreso) to teach your child to take responsibility for bad behavior and work to change it as it is to never make a mistake in the first place.